Ladylikeness 14: You got this. No, wait. You don't got this.


"Ladies have the confidence to ask for help.

I got this. No, wait. I don't got this.  


"Hello, weary traveler. You're welcome here. Come in. Sit a spell. Rest awhile."

There's a kind of tired that sleep won't fix. It comes, usually, without much warning or plans to leave. It attaches around our ankles and turns our walk through life into a shuffle.

When that kind of tiredness comes, we may not fully recognize it at first. Because we're busy. We've got "to do" boxes to check off, responsibilities to meet, things to "handle," and smiles to hand out whenever and wherever smiles are expected.

We assume everything must be okay because all our trains are still leaving the station on time.

It's not that we're purposefully hiding the tiredness (although, admittedly, we often are), it's that life keeps moving and there's no convenient place to jump off. Besides, everyone's tired. It's just life. We'll push through this. If we can just make it through this week...this month...this summer...this season of life...then we'll finally have time to rest and reflect.

So tiredness becomes second nature. It sticks around. Tags along. Settles in. Becomes normal...expected...familiar.

Besides, strong women don't ask for help. Right?

Yes. They don't. Until they do. Because, sometimes, even the strong need help. And it takes strength to admit it.

Even more so, it takes honesty.

Of all the many admirable attributes I've witnessed in Ladies, the biggest - at least for me - is their dedication to honesty. Especially how they always apply it to themselves.

Ladies aren't perfect people. They're honest people. They recognize their weaknesses, struggles, issues, and work to overcome them. And that includes being honest about when they can no longer keep going on their own.

How To Put This Truth Into Action

Having the confidence to ask for help isn't about ego. It's about acceptance.  

It's accepting that needing help does not lessen your value or your self-worth.

It's accepting that no one, not even the strongest among us, can do everything and face everything alone. Nor are we designed to do so. 

It's accepting that this may be your time to need support so that you can offer someone else support down the road. 

It's also confidence, not only to accept help, but to trust it's there when needed. Either from friends or family or from the only perfect, tireless source of help without limits - God, our loving, protective, infinitely strong and infinitely gentle Father. It's confidence that, when we reach out our hand, another hand will be there to grasp it. 

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God."
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV)